october 2024

october is alchemy.

magic and mystery bubble to the surface. something formed from nothing. an offering cut straight from the fabric of the universe, origins unknown. but these moments have been building for all time, a series of alchemical reactions rooted in the give & take, push & pull, creation & destruction of everything we know.

before science, there was alchemy. and with it, a fascinating duality where laws and principles grounded a seemingly mystical practice. isn’t this the way many of us still think about the world? a synthesis of sound reason and complete bewilderment. life can only grow at the meeting place.

the alchemist, a sage and a seer, a wizard and a scientist, endures in the ritual of creative transformation most divinely. cloaked in awareness and intuition, the alchemists are the keepers of magic! the stewards of the distance between what is and what can be. when wisdom, discernment, and openness are enduring, a potion is ready for the special ingredient, whatever it may be. a good wizard acts with great intention and the bold realization of the potential of change.

how do you wield a lightning strike? how do you sleep after a vampire bite? what magic will come in the night? the answers are all there, with the alchemists, somewhere in the space between what is and what can be.

october 2024

mixtape #5

october 2024 • mixtape #5 •

reflections

i’ve been thinking of alchemy as the melding of the elements, a compression of things known to induce a burst of the unknown, a recipe for magic, not necessarily witches’ brews or rabbits’ feet but the kind of magic that is already simmering in the earth and requires a particular wielding and maneuvering to be attained, a careful and methodical approach, never emptied of reverence or wonder. alchemy as in the magic that happens over and over in time, ingredients of experience and feeling, falling into the cauldron like dominoes. 

in my life, i am the alchemist. the sage and seer and scientist and seeming a fool to spectators, this is me. these spectators say magic has been debunked, and the limits of what can be have been reached. we build these castles of ideas and assumptions and learned beliefs around ideas, things, concepts, people, places…we have these big bubbles where our versions of the world live. it is the great common manner to live life responsive to our perceptions of things, to our ideas of the world surrounded by thought castles rather than the world itself, and it is not so simple to see beyond our schemas. after all, i am limited, i can only speak in language, i can only listen to sounds my ears can pick up, i can only see before me. yet, i understand and am AWARE of a greater capacity in me, i can feel it. is this enough to know it? that there’s something more? because i feel it?

when i was driving from new york city to california over the last few weeks, i had a lot of time alone, a lot of time to slowly and gradually work through and let go of the distractions and fixations and heaviness in my heart and mind, at precisely my own pace. i felt myself a vessel at some point, completely open to what could pass through and into me. this is when i felt the magic begin, an unraveling of my mind, an unearthing of something deeper. i started having revelations, very clear and massive realizations about my life, ongoing for days. in these moments, i turned the music off and listened with complete attention to the sounds of the world out my window, i found myself in the slow lane more often than not. nothing was lost, no energy created or destroyed, just revealed, liberated. a natural flow of my true self moving through distance and time, in real time, as a river that’s been undammed, undamned. 

during the month of october i feel myself so prepared to lean very deeply into this heightened sensibility with time and distance. i've just moved into a new house, with old friends, with new dynamics, with old furniture, with new opportunities, with old habits. thinking about this dance of old and new and this space inside myself where all of these things live, i have a hunch that a series of alchemical reactions may be on my horizon.

sum

magic, in my head, is like a lighter flicking itself on and off. something sparking up out of nothing in the wilderness. wonder and mischief revealed for no more than an instant, then folding back into the fabric of the world, the normal, the way things are.

i like to think of alchemy as everything building to that magic, the machinations of the world in the shadows, lining things up for years or decades or centuries in advance, crafting exactly how and when and for who those flames will appear. right now, the groundwork is being laid for so much magic we won’t even be alive to see.

the world is a mystifying place every day, and i’ve been thinking lately about how i don’t want to forget that. i’ve been keeping my eyes open for magical sights in my day-to-day. they’ve been here all along, in the hum of the days passing, or in the dust kicked up behind them. i’m trying to tune in more to the people around me, to observe them, to remember all of the ways to be open…

i’m also trying to reckon with that fact that new york might be the most magical city in the world, and yet at times the most unfeeling and uninterested. there is so much happening here all the time – every corner of this city is alive with dreams and whims and enchantments – and yet, i can’t help but be surprised by the small moments the universe delivers here. the other day, i saw two friends running down the subway stairs, only to see their train already pulling away – and guess what, they slowed down and laughed. i had never seen two people so excited to miss their ride. for them, it could have meant sharing more time together, letting go of the pressures of time, new possibilities on a new train…whatever it was, it was in the hands of the universe. that alchemical build to this moment where something was taken away and something was given in return. at least, they seemed to see it that way, and that felt like magic.

i really love the idea of magic. i think it’s because it’s so universal, but people see it in different ways – a set of coincidences, making art, a sign from god, stars aligning, hands touching, hearts stirring. i like that it can be looked for. that it can just happen. that it can even be applied retroactively to memories. you might decide, with a little more time and wisdom, that magic has been happening your whole life.

for me, there is a place where magic always dwells: in the music. i look for magic there, and i am never surprised when it finds me. the world changes through its lens: in size, in mood, in color, in focus. my playlist this month is like lifting the curtain back and peering into the complex inner workings of a magic trick. a system made up of real parts that, together, form order, but present like something conjured up in a dream.

unlike prior months of this project where our theme has been an extension of a feeling already unraveling, i am looking to this month’s theme as a guide. october is for seeing magic and tracing alchemy, the relentless give and take of the world.

liv